I Will Be The One: A Letter to My Father

All of us have GAPS! Yes you too! We all have a gap in our lives that causes us pain, brings fear into our hearts and even shame. We all have something in our past that was never dealt with properly that we live with every single day. Trust me we all have GAPS! 

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We all have insecurities and dysfunctions. Many of us have either learned how to cope or ignore the gaps all together. Lately my gaps have gotten so wide it is hard to see to the other side. My gaps are starting to get to big to hide behind closed doors. I am afraid they are too big to hide behind my smile and my skill set. 

If I’m totally honest I am sick of hiding my gaps. I have gotten to a place where I am willing to confront these gaps head on, heal from them and help somebody else deal with their gaps. 

See, my gap is lies and a false image that I have had to portray all of my life. I come from a public family on both sides. My mother’s parents are Bishops and my father is a Bishop and I preach too. My family business is church. It is what we do. It is the title we have. 

I have always had to wrestle with the “image” being the first family required. Always look the part, always talk the talk BUT, with very little emphasis on walking the walk. I know all the church lingo and I know what words to say to get you excited and lifting your hands, BUT what I am coming to grips with is the dysfunction that lies underneath the pretty clothes and fake smile. 

See, my gaps may be the lies I told myself for 31 years. That everything was perfect and we were all one big happy family. The lie that as long as you look the part you were the part. The lie that holiness was just something you said not really who you were. The lie that this type of stuff happens in every family so it is normal. All of these lies produced GAPS!

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I encourage you to take a moment and identify your gaps. Is it lust? Is it rejection? Is it abandonment? Is it poverty? Is it sexual abuse? Is it physical abuse? 

Whatever the gap is in your life and your family history. I want to let you know that you can stand in the gap!

There are some things in my bloodline that has caused me to cry out to God for His help. Things that only God can heal and deliver. And as these things/gaps begin to show up on my front door step,  I began to seek God for direction. I needed to know how these gaps can close. I needed to know how these gaps can heal properly. I needed to know how I can position myself to never repeat them. I NEEDED TO KNOW! 

I said to myself now that I know what the gaps are, how stupid it would be if I just lived life and made them bigger for the next generation to have to experience and deal with. I have made up in my mind, heart and soul to STAND IN THE GAP! 

I am reminded of Ezekiel 22:30 NKJV  30 So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one.

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Ezekiel was a prophet of God sent to judge Jerusalem who was guilty of many heinous crimes.

SIDE NOTE: I get so annoyed when people say we cant judge other people. UHH, clearly God calls His prophets and others to judge the land. I shall digress. Let’s move forward.

Ezekiel was in charge of being the moral Godly standard in the city. He was there to pray on behalf of the people who had lost their way due to sin and immorality. He was there to urge them to repent and turn from their wicked ways. 

Many refused to turn and repent, in fact many found no wrong in how they were living.  Therefore God warned them to turn back to the one true living God. Which brings us to verse 30 where God says 30 So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one.

The word “sought” in this verse means:  I sought, very earnestly and diligently; spoken of God after the manner of man. God looked for a righteous standard among the people. God is looking for one person to stand up and end the vicious habits, dysfunctional patterns and demonic curses that plague many of our families. God is looking. He is searching for anyone who would dare enough to believe that with His help the gaps in our lives will close. 

Verse 30 goes on to say that God was looking for anyone among the people who would make a wall, which means to make up the hedge; to repair the breach, and prevent further mischief, discord, dysfunction, chaos, turmoil and strife. 

Are you willing to become the wall to repair the GAPS in your life, your family and repair the breach not just for you but for your children and future generations? 

The verse goes on to says to STAND IN THE GAP,  which means to interpose between a sinful, suffering people and their offended God, and entreat for mercy, that the land might not be destroyed. 

God is looking for someone to go before a HOLY God and ask for mercy for the gaps in their lives, family and for the world we live in. 

Unfortunately Ezekiel 22: 30 ends with God saying But I found noneall were corrupted in the lane, not one but obstinately went on to sin and provoke me. 

As I look over my GAPS and I look over what God has been revealing to me recently I refuse to allow God to say He found none. I refuse to allow the gaps to get bigger. I refuse to allow the gaps to get wider. I refuse to allow the gaps to destroy my family, my life, my children and the future generations to come. 

So God as I seek to encourage others to STAND IN THE GAP,  I vow to BE THE ONE TO STAND IN THE GAP! 

LORD, I WILL BE THE ONE! IMG_2581

I WILL STAND IN THE GAP! 

If that means I can’t do the things others in my family get to do, I WILL BE THE ONE! 

If that means praying daily, I WILL BE THE ONE! 

If that means fasting weekly, I WILL BE THE ONE! 

If that means keeping your commandments, I WILL BE THE ONE! 

If that means being ostracized, I WILL BE THE ONE! 

If that means being talked about, I WILL BE THE ONE! 

If that means upsetting those around me to bring glory to Your Name, I WILL BE THE ONE!

LORD, I WILL BE THE ONE! 

My prayer is that others will join me and STAND IN THE GAP! It will not be easy, it has not been easy but somebody has to be the one! I have questioned in the last year or so why God chose me for this assignment?  There were others before me and frankly others who should have stood in the gap but failed to do so. God has reminded me over and over again that His plans for me are to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11). He has reminded me that I was created for such a time as this (Esther 4:14) and He will complete the work He started in me (Philippians 1:6). You too have been chosen for this ASSIGNMENT and I am just a witness that God will cover and protect you and make sure the assignment is completed. GO WITH GOD! 

So, will you STAND IN THE GAP? 

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8 thoughts on “I Will Be The One: A Letter to My Father

Add yours

  1. Hi Vicky!

    Great post! Standing in the gap requires a lot of selflessness. Many of us (myself included) are willing, but too lazy. The challenge often times includes mastering your emotions as well as your time. Godspeed to you for taking up the mantle. Continuous prayer for those who need to join the charge.

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  2. I love it… you know my upbringing was similar, fellow PK and I too have vowed NOT ! MORE GENERATION will succumb to the same evils, curses, and pitfalls…the fight is exhausting, lonely and at times overwhelming, but we are called to be overcomers. Continue to stand in the gap and God will honor the actions you paired with faith! God bless you.

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  3. LOVE the post …THANKYOU for standing in the GAP…with prayer and supplication..HEALING AND TRANSFORMATION WILL TAKE PLACE…MUCH LOVE

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  4. Victoria,

    This blog was everything and I am so proud of you for sharing. You are meant to share for such a time as this!!!1 There need to be more young people like you willing to stand in their truth. Love you and proud of you.

    Liked by 1 person

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